I can say that I am different from everyone else. People go through different situations throughout their life that creates them into who they are going to become in the future.
Everything that was put through my path took away a big part that made me who I am. She’s not completely gone, I know she’s still inside somewhere.
At times I asked myself if it’s better this way, but sometimes I wonder how things would be if she was here.
Both my parents are from Mexico. My older brother and I were born over there, except for my little sister. My parents came to America to give us a better future.
There was a time where all my family got along. And then there’s a blur, everything happened so fast. One day my parents were together and the other my dad was gone. I still got to see him but I questioned myself why he wouldn’t come home.
Holidays were the hardest, I would spent Christmas with my mom while my other siblings would spend it with my dad. Then new year would be spent with my dad while my siblings with my mom.
I was angry, not because my parents weren’t together but the fact that every decision they were making was affecting us.
School was starting and with everything going on I couldn’t concentrate. My teachers pushed me to do better, but I couldn’t.
My brother became quiet, and my sister became rebellious. I in the other hand became very depressed. When you think of 11 year old, you imagine a kid running around the yard, playing with toys, everything a kid is supposed to do. You don’t imagine an 11 year old kid planning on how to end pain or coming up with a way to make herself feel a bigger pain so she would get used to it. But that was my childhood.
As I grew older I figured out new ways to help me deal with everything. I started enjoying life more despite the difficulties. I didn’t want my parents problems to get in the way of my happiness.
I started high school, this was only the beginning of a new chapter in my life.